hallo

right, so. i should probably mention that i'm in california.
and it's freaking FREEZING.
no, srsly.
40 degrees fareheit.
and i'm like "o.o i am SO not ready for this."
i had a wonderful christmas.
sorry i didn't send out an e-card or anything - this computer is so slow. i do wish that you all had a very merry christmas and that you have a happy new year.
..
why isn't it "have a very happy christmas and a merry new year"?
my cousin is more rad than yours.
that's right.
i went there.
he saw fall out boy.
and i was jealous.
but i hate crowds.
so.
it works, you know?
..
i'm knitting swell from knitty.com
and the author must knit very loosely, because at the rate it's going it's going to fit my cat.
..
the house we're staying at has "Annie" on DVD.
i've watched it so many times already.
"so senator, so janitor, so long for while..."
"look at what i'm drippin' with! little girlss..."
"nyc, that's where i'll be. two bags, three bucks, one me.."
ahem.
i love musicals.
LOVE. THEM.
..
what did you all get for christmas?
i got $100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!
meaning, i get to buy a new nano as soon as we get back.
and.
a t-shirt (with an angsty girl holding an ax on it on the front)
a page-a-day calendar
pearl ear-rings
the annotated alice
speaking to the earth (it's a book)
alex & me
a banana slug sweat-shirt
totally awesome over-ear headphone with the best sound quality, like, ever.
itunes giftcars (i'm totally buying howl's moving castle, okay. HIS PANTS, AMY. HIS PANTS.)
notebooks.
amazon giftcards
and some other things.
i have them packed already..

okay so we're off to go hiking in the redwoods with dominique and alice.
pray i don't get frostbite!

ZZZZIIIIIMMMMMMMM!!!! OBEY THE FIST! AND IF NOT THE FIST, THE RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS THAT MARCH THROUGH MY VEINS!!!




you really don't want to know.

amy do you still have a blog?
also.
anyone know any good penguin knitting patterns?
otherwise i'll just use Pasha from knitty.
Pasha at the Disco! (The Panic Penguin)
lena i need your halp.

i drew pretty bowie pictures but jessie's too lame to look at them.

i don't want to escape. just. not exactly wanting to be here either.

i've realized how very little time i spend wanting to be in reality.

walking in the shadow, perspective warped and bubbled and deathly beautiful

Watched Stephen Colbert's Christmas special. Excellent. Fell asleep on the floor. Ouch. Saw Twilight. It was ok.
Checking if this HTML works:

Hottest Hookup	Biggest Breakup
Lindsay Lohan and Sa...	Hugh Hefner and the ...
Favorite Jonas	Breakout Star of the Year
Kevin	Lady Gaga
Baddest Bad Girl	Biggest Scandal
Amy Winehouse	Amy Winehouse's Life...
Best Dressed	Worst Dressed
Dita Von Teese	Mariah Carey
Hottest Hottie	Cutest Celebuspawn
Robert Pattinson	Suri Cruise
Most Improved	Worst Trainwreck
Lindsay Lohan	Amy Winehouse
Most DVR-worthy Series	Biggest Box Office Blowout
The Office	The Dark Knight
Celeb of the Year
Barack Obama

Who would you vote for?
Go to PerezHilton.com to vote!

Do a lot of Goths show up on my page 'cause of the vampire thing? Evanescence is winning.

lol sorry.

twitter, folks
it's addictive.
>.<
blame jessie

i think i maybe blurt out all of my personal life because i'm avoiding the secrets that i'm keeping from myself

hate pain suffering despair

the world is over

what a catch, donnie - fall out boy

real chat :D
Jessie: *screams*
me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jessie: !
me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jessie: found it!
me: i knoe right
did you explode
i was like "SDAFJLDHASKJDHASLKJNDA CNDAKHJSDLKAJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jessie: does anyone else sing or is just him?
1:11 PM me: and mum was like "o.o r u ok?"
um gabe alex elvis
Jessie: because i heard thnks fr th mmrs too.
me: um
Jessie: elvis.
me: oh crap i knew this
Jessie: he's dead, honey.
1:12 PM me: Elvis Costello - Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet

Gabe Saporta (Cobra Starship) - Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy

Travis McCoy (Gym Class Heroes) - Sugar We're Going Down

Brendon Urie (Panic At The Disco) - Dance Dance

Doug Does - This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race

Alex DeLeon (The Cab) - Thnks Fr Th Mmrs

William Beckett (The Academy Is) -Growing Up
1:13 PM elvis costello not elvis presley
geez.
1:14 PM Jessie: NO WAY
HOW DO I NOT KNOW THIS?
me: UM I'M NOT SURE
Jessie: ALL OF THEM?
IN ONE SONG?
me: I'M NOT EVEN AS BIG A FALL OUT BOY FAN AS YOU AND I KNEW THIS
YES ALL IN ONE SONG
/EXPLODE
Jessie: HOLY CRAP.
1:15 PM me: I KNOW.
Jessie: AWEOSME.
me: I KNOW.
Jessie: SERIOUSLY.
me: I KNOW!
Jessie: ALL IN ONE SONG.
me: YES.
1:16 PM Jessie: I WOULD DIE BUT THEN I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG.
me: I MELTED
AND EXPLODED
AT THE SAME TIME
Jessie: SUCKS TO BE YOU.
me: YES THAT WORKS
SHUSH
Jessie: YOU CANT LISTEN TO SONG.
HAHAHAH
me: CAN TOO.
R IN TUPPARWARE
1:17 PM Jessie: BUT I STOLE YOUR EARS.
me: RHIA SCOOPED ME UP
O.O
WHY DID YOU DO THAT
Jessie: I FELT LIKE IT.
GOD.
me: O.O
:]
1:18 PM SO IT'S AGREED THIS IS ONE OF THE AWESOMEST SONGS EVER?
Jessie: DEFINATILY IN THE TOP 5
me: I KNOE.
PERMISSION TO POST THIS ON BLOG REQUESTED
1:19 PM Jessie: OKAY




so we're sharing the awesomeness of this song with you all. ok?

Directions for listening to the new Fall Out Boy

Step 1) Forget everything you know about them and their music.
Step 2) Listen to the song.
Step 3) Decide if you like it. If you don't, don't buy it. You do? Get it. That simple.

Yes, they have a new sound. They aren't the angry teenage boys we once loved. They've grown up and they've changed and just because it isn't rock doesn't mean it sucks. Grow up, haters.

/r pissed at bashers


I HAV A SUN MUSHROOM PURRING ON MY LAP.

TEGAN AND SARA AND TEGAN AND SARA AND!

and lays there, fetal position face down on the slick sidewalk and tries to just breathe.

i think i have asthma.
i also had a panic attack-like thing last night.
so i couldn't breathe, and my lungs were collapsing in on themselves and i just.
lost all self-control.

i feel like crap on a regular basis.
ZOMG INTERNETZ MAYBE I HAVE AIDS.

/essplodes

important note #1

nein, srsly jem.

random thought #1

i just want to curl up in patrick's voice and lose myself.

anyone have and recs for good techno/rave/trance artists?
i already have i am x-ray and blaqk audio..

the plotbunnies are attacking.
in fact, i met a plotbunnicula today.
watch out.

so i had the weirdest dream last night. well, second weirdest. the cyborg-pineapple one was weirder. (did i tell you about that one?)
point was, weird.
this is how i told it to jessie.
"i married kelesy.
and annie was our maid of honour.
and you married brendon.
and i was jealous.
but then kelesy asked me to marry her and then you were jealous.
and ryan was dating travis who was dating william who was dating gabe who was dating vicky who was dating patrick who was dating joe who was dating andy who was dating ashlee who was pete's gay-guy's-girl-friend-and-they-go-shop-for-shoes-together and pete was chasing spencer who was like "dude! i'm with ludacris! back off!" and ludacris was secretly messing around with jay-z who was openly dating madonna who was dating justin timberlake and he was dating britney spears who was dating rihanna who was dating faris rotter who was dating kylie minogue.
it was kind of weird.
and... there were bubbles.
lots of bubbles.
bubbles in the hot tub, in the champagne, in the water, in the beer, in the shirley temples, in the fireplace, in the bath, in the sink, in britney's dress and there were multi-coloured unpopable bubbles bouncing around everywhere.
and then i was the crown princess of england so we had this massive party at buckingham palace?
and then kiera knightly showed up and started making out with amy.
...
then spencer turned into a large spider so pete put him in a larger jar.
and locked him in the trunk of his toddler-size john deere."
i would dearly like to know where my subconcious comes up with these things.
"i made my own dress with old men's undershirts from the thrift store, gorilla glue and safety scissors.
and kelsey was wearing a camp rock pyjama out fit.
and then elvis married us?
and then you and brendon.
and then rhia and becca showed up!
and i was like, "OMJFDASKFJOTP!"
and they were like "KFDASOFJLEFJD!"
and then were all were like "SDFJDFJSLKJJJJJJJ!"
and then matty moo moo showed up and ate the sofa.
..."
really. really. really. weird.
so everyone's gay in my dreams.

JESSIE.

AHH! i'm so proud.

tan i realmente bueno de rhiannon del amor

she makes my day, every day.
example:
"dentist: -mutters something, using heavy accent- ..ok?
me: -chokes on flouride and glares at lady holding suction tube-
dentist: great! we'll get started then, we're gonna -heavy accent-
me: -heavy accent confuses me and bright light blocks my vision-
dentist: SUCTION TUBE PLEASE.
lady holding suction tube: oh. right.
me: -intense glaring-
dentist: open your mouth wider. yah, no, y-- wider. wider.
me: agggghhh, euuemm? !!
dentist: O.o ..
me: o.o!!!!
dentist: o.O ..
me: -.-
[2 hours later]
dentist: we're all done here so -heavy accent makes me dizzy-
lady holding suction tube: and don't rinse out your mouth for 30 minutes.
me: -gags and runs out of dentist hospital-
[1 hour later]
me: hm. a chunk of the stuff they put on my teeth that's supposed to stay on for a couple of years just came off in my mouth and dissolved.
mother washing dishes: DON'T SWALLOW
me: -swallows- ew...
mother running to phone: I'LL CALL AND ASK IF IT'S NORMAL.
[30 minutes later]
mother sitting in chair: well....we could sue them?
[4 seconds later]
rhia, gagging: -runs to bathroom-
the end "

the madness of two

or, folie a deux. fall out boy's new album. coming out november fourth.
i'm sorta excited. nao i have to go find my copy of Sheena...

shh...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPENCER SMITH.
YOU ARE NOW... ONE YEAR OLDER THAN YOU WERE LAST YEAR!

-whispers to neighbor- how old is he now?
:D

we're the girls le disko, supersonic overdrive

so. anyone ever head of oasis? yes. very good band. i absolutely adore wonderwall. then again, who doesn't?
so this is pointless. classes start again on thursday and i have yet to obtain all necessary supplies.
:/





i'm a big fan of patrick stump. and his musical genius brain.







and i really like the horrors. the lead singer, faris badwan, seems either a bit out of it or rude but all in all their music is amazing and that's what matters to me. i'm now rejecting all Horrors canon so don't tell me about Joshua Third's girlfriend because i'd like to imagine he's my Rockstar Boyfriend. and i just noticed i'm Selectively Capatalising things.

...

faris: "they're the people from my label." interviewer: "why?" faris; "-too busy eating "sketchy" looking noodles to notice- i'm sorry, what?" interviewer: "i said, why are they the people from your label?" faris: 'oh. they want to suck my blood." - on having dreams about being chased by wolves


the end.
tomorrow i will be posting my story of Sheena and the Kitty. who knows, maybe i'll do some illustrations and make Vader bring home the scanner and i'll upload them for you all. :D it's a very good story.



music: She Is The New Thing - The Horrors
location: Shiny Happy People Land

jack the rippar

They live in separate worlds, they do. He, with his office job and his affair, never caring enough to say more than to grunt, "Salt." She, with her clandestine taboo thoughts, pushed to the untouched recesses of her mind, unseen by even her.
They sat down to dinner every night, silence filling in the gaps and and blank spaces that have been occupied words and thoughts and feelings.
Silence was their landlord, and the payed their dues on the clock every day.

let me know if i should continue. i was reading the fiction section in my New Yorker and i realised i really like that kind of writing.

sew

so jessie reads. and and anon reads.
:/
i'm tired.
and i DID write in gabbie's story! swear. buttface computer deleted the chapter i'd written. -pissed at computer-
and i surprisingly like renata. i'd kind of had her labeled as annoying but she's actually pretty cool.and i've finally figured out how to spell "surprised." belatedly, i know, but i figured it out. BY MYSELF. -proud-
pride and jealousy are opposites, right?
so, i'm jealous of rhia. SHE GETS TO GO SEE ATREYU. AND CHIODOS. -.- AND SHE GOT TO SEE AFI.
/jealous
and then we laughed. because they always wear all white and have white instruments. and they're so emo. so, funny.
jimmy urine cane make me /rofl. just putting that out there.
i want to learn how to read tabs.
anyone up to teaching me?
i think i should write a poem or something. i haven't written in forever. well, i wrote jessie a s/a at midnight last week but that doesn't count. that's right. MIDNIGHT RAMBLINGS ARE NOT WRITING.
unfortunately, i have Don't Cry Out stuck in my head. it's repetetive and fills your brain.

FORGET
dressed up, messed up,
dolled up, called up
fell off, written off
scratch slip slide
can't remember, can't forget
wherever did you go, my tourniquet
slice stab gush
you once head my heart,
now you hold my hand,
as you watch the crimson river runs its course.



so. emo.

but that's what i get for falling asleep listening to tourniquet.




music: Le Disko - Shiny Toy Guns
location: green chair!

i'd like to mention that NOBODY reads this

o.O
okay, so maybe i'm not vigilant in checking jessie's blog. or william's. or amy's. or pete's. but dudes, at least every three days.
it seems you don't read this at all.
i'm just going to update one more time, then i might move to LJ. unless someone proves to me they read this.
]:<
i'm learning to play guitar now. well, my little sister's showing me chords and i'm practising them so when we locate a new guitar instructor i'll already have toughened up my fingertips and basic knowledge of whatever s/he's going on about.
i have to go wash dishes now.
more later.

...

MOVIE ALICE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE BLACKY HAIRS!
-murders costume designer and/or makeup artist-
ALICE HAS BLACK HAIR.
-storms off-


...





i like kittens.

shiny patrick! :D

the future freaks me out

so justin (Motion City Soundtrack) gets the kudos for putting everyone's thoughts to music.

i totally freaked myself out last night (this morning, 4 am.), thinking about the future. maybe it's just teenage low-ego but i really haven't found a topic i'm passionate about or something i'm particularly good at.

thennn i decided that i'd be okay with whatever happens, because everything happens for a reason. now i just have to believe that.

so.

here are some things i've always (always being relative) wanted to do. (wiggles indicate the not-so-much anymore jobs)
- work at a clothing store/boutique
- work at a wedding dress boutique
- book store worker/owner
- writer
- artist
- photographer
- barista
- musician
- best mum ever
- world traveler
- pretty much anything in the alternative scene. (clothing, teching, playing, merch booth-ing...)
~ glass-blower
~ cashier
~ flight attendant
~ one of those people that makes the displays in store windows.. you know
~ teacher


and i'm significantly feeling better.. i mean, i have the whole rest of my life to try all these things... screw money. and no one's stopping me.

ps. i'm NOT suicidal. -turns that into a mantra-

-bounces-

yesss!
i love alice.

bri sent me this quizz.
take it.
then tell me in the comments.

Twilight Quiz by QuizRocket.com fun quizzes!
Fun Quizzes | Quizes for MySpace » MySpace Quizzes

100th Post.

no it really is.
anyways.
i'm thinking of starting a drabble-a-day.
a drabble's a mini-story, just a few paragraphs.
so. i need prompts.
in fanfiction it's usually a pairing and a word, e.g. travis/katy, christmas.
but most of you aren't fanfic!fans so you can give me something different.
and i'll try to write one every day.
unless i don't get enough prompts.
or if i'm not on the computer.
maybe i'll do this on lj.
or quizilla.
anyways.
writing it down so i don't forget.

i caught a falling star and it wept for me... dying.

huh. so nobody like green day. and panic beats fall out boy? i'm impressed.
then again, it seems that panic *always* beats fall out boy...
afi owns the title. i think. maybe davey does. or the record company. or jade...
ANYWAYS.
i'm kind-of obsessed with tokyo hardcore. and NO it's not some japanese bakkuke film.
it's tarina tarantino's 2007 catalog.
she's a jewelry designer.
tokyo hardcore is a book-like catalog, in that it has characters and you follow them through the plot. oh, did i mention? DAVEY HAVOK AND JEFFREE STAR. and some other asian girl. she's really pretty..
...
ahem.
ANYWAYS.
i can't get it all online.. so if someone would buy it for me i'd love them forever.
i'm saving up to buy breaking dawn!
yay!
is anyone else going?

hardcore superstar- by far, you're the ultimate star

credits to the amasing tegan and sara for the title.

okay. so. i need help.
really.
but i'm not going to scare you all.
i'll just keep it inside- maybe it'll go away with time.
just-
is it normal to want to get a life-threatening disease and beat it, just to prove to yourself that life's worth living?
no.
i know it's not.
i just...
can't help but feel worthless. like i'm wasting everybody's time, killing innocent people in africa but breathing their air.
we're all going to die eventually... sometimes i wish eventually was now.
i feel as if i have no talent. i'm just that kid that no one needs around.
would you cry for me?
or would you laugh at me, making fun of my.. my... there's not even a word for it.
it's just... emotion.
but emotion shouldn't be able to control you.
i wish i was bipolar. then i could take lith and BAM i'd be happy.
but i'm not.
i'm not anything,

this isn't acting- actors don't die.
i swear it's true- this is no lie.
just when you think it'll all be alright-
the dark consumes all- you can't find the light.
i'm twisting and turning-
nothing to break my fall.

So.

I'm in California. But I'm not going to tell yew a whole lot. Cos. I have limited time.
Haight Street is full of love and is > world.

and i wrote a songfic:


[Love Like Winter]

Press your lips to the sculptures and surely you’ll stay…

We wandered through the sculpture garden, statues of deceased king and queens’ eyes seeming to follow our every move. It should have been eerie. She should have clung to me, whispering something along the lines of “this is scary…” But it wasn’t. She was, I was, we were. Nothing could stop us, and certainly not some bronze medieval queen.
“BOO!” She jumped on my back, trying to startle me. Even though the newly fallen snow had muffled her footsteps, I had heard her boots. She’d insisted on the pair, making me wait for her to put on the giant, clunky oversize combat boots with soles so thick they’d make you think she was taller than Shaquille O’Neal. As she jumped on me, the weight of the shoes alone was enough to make me fall over. And I did.
The Polaroid camera slipped out of my pocket, clattering on the stone sidewalk where the snow had not fallen, covered by an overhanging tree. She tumbled off my back in her vain attempts to reach it; I’d swooped it up as soon as it had made a nosedive from my coat’s compartment. She pouted, then hopped right up. I could never understand how she moved so fluidly in that footwear.
“A picture! Daveyyyyyy! Take a picture of me,” She exclaimed. “With this one! She’s pretty!” She ran to a statue of a woman, almost girl really, draped in a Greek chiton. Pressing her lips to the woman’s cheek, My Enigma looked at me expectantly.
I obliged to her unspoken demand, holding up the camera to snap the picture. And in that picture forever she’d stay, kissing the statue, an enigma.


“Wait.” Flash. “Tape’s still rolling.”



‘Cuz I have a crush on Lacey.






Read the lines in the mirror through the lipstick trace….


She died, forever of sugar and ice.

Her last message, written on the cracked mirror reading: “Por siempre.”




and i wrote a nice little nonsense one for jessie/my sister;

am i beautiful? am i usuable?

Heyy Jessie. Here's your storeh:

Jessie is a cyborg. She secretly works for the USSR’s super-fab-cereal spy network. She is doing studies on middle-school students and teenyboppers. I’m not sure what else there is to say. She’s blonde, but she considers herself a brunette. LIAR. Her friends recently ditched her for the “IN” crowd. Their names are Nikki and Kelesy. She’s not jewish. She doesn’t have a clown living under stairs named marcus. Or one in the garage named jimbo. I do. Therefore I am cooler than her. BWA HA HA HA HA! -glares at you- don’t laugh at me. ^-^ her biffle is SIERRA HOPPIE the one und onleh SUPERRRNEENJA. I am totally making this all up, can you tell? I have throwing stars. :/ soooooo. What else. Cupcakes > muffins. Lemons > pancakes. I’m not particularly creative today. AGH! –is dragged away by Mordicant- HALP!
Ohnoes. My hand hurts. –staple guns it- LIVE. LIVE!
McDonalds is taking over the world. Texting is overrated. –drinks jamba jooce- RECYCLE RETARDS.
Styrofoam is packaged in bubblewrap.
Bubblewrap is packaged in Styrofoam.
Irish people don’t spreck Ingles. Neither do i. :]
I lie a lot.
I’m nice.
See second sentence up.
Jessie, if you ever translate this, I promise I’ll write you a real story. If you don’t…
WELL HA HA SUCKAA!
-throws phone book at you-
^-^ no I’m not violent.

how jessie ruined my day:

she set her status message to this;
"You are a sellout but you couldn't even do that right. So your price tag has been slashed, now you chillin on a half price clearance rack."

and it freaked me out.
so i said to her;
"i know it's not directed at m, but it resonates in my bones, a sense of a condencending higher figure, telling me i was never worth the crap i put people through."

and it totally put me in a funk.

high street

great episode.
sirrusly.

hyde is mah hero.


rhia says: yus sliding down the dirt bike hill on mah knees was a rlly [expletive, stand-in word is crap] idea.

nuuu. i will nawt back douwn!

nuhunnuhuhuhdududududududuud.

i woke up with an unnaturel amoont of hypernuss in mah bloodstreem.

New Shoes

Red, black, brown.
Pink, purple, polka dots.
Boots, slippers, sneakers.
Flip-flops, sandals, Uggs.
We walk through this world on our shoes...
Our shoes are our personas.
Some people get a life-long guarantee on theirs,
waterproof, petproof, peopleproof.
Others' shoes wear thin.
They have to go try another pair on.
Goth, prep, nerd.
Step careful, you might lose a shoe...

It's okay to let some go.
A few walk barefoot.
They've been pushed beyond,
to the point of no return.
Be kind to them,
offer an old pair.
You just might save a life.

why join the navy if you could be a pirate?

i laughed; i cried
i lived; i died


i think i'm stealing that from someone...

there's also

i have this little ache inside of me,
just screaming to be free.
i rip it out and let it fly;
it hurts so much i have to cry.
the little ache is no more,
in it's place it leaves a gaping hole.

so... more ≠ hole. but it's close. ish. close-ish. closeish. clish.

lewis carroll is genius. "if you were to say fuming and furious, and say them at the same time, you would say them in whichever order you were partial too. you might say, fuming-furious, or furious-fuming. however, if you are on the the few special people, you would blend the words together. i would say frumious."
that's genius. the library has this book that's "The Jabberwocky" with incredible. illustrations.

i've started to read harder literature. i'm currently reading "hamlet" and "a midsummer night's dream", "les miserables" and a book i got at the library that is adult nonfiction. it's hard to understand at first but as soon as you get into the groove of it you can read it quickly. at least, i can.

i'm excited to be going to california. i've researched some museums, and am pleased that a Frida exhibit will be there while my family is in San Fransisco.

have a great day; i'm feeling cheerful

:]

in theory

the party

the highs

the crank

and the cranking of the music

the car

a hummer

too big, too much power

the death

she hadn't done anything

she was just in the wrong place, the worst possible time

no way to stop it

she even looked both ways

had she stayed for the end credits

she would be here

but she died

like a character in that movie she wanted to see so much

the funeral

lachrymose

morose

somber

crying

"it was too early"

"not her time"

he's

cutting

blaming

more crying

confessing

anything to avoid the truth of his mistake

the mother:

lawsuit.

someone has to pay.

deathrow.

"it's the only verdict i'll stand for."

the judge:

she died how?

the defendent:

i don't know...

i didn't see her

it wasn't worth the high

and now...
she's gone
he's gone

gone.

at least for now.

understatement from the basement

i've been understated,
i've been overrated
more than any Oscar movie

tear me down,
build me up again

i can't keep track
of how many times
i've been forced to step back
to re-asses my life
and who i am

or who i pretend to be, that is

understatement from the basement
who i can't be
overrated, floating in the sea
who i'd like to be

i can't express this feeling
there are no words for it

perhaps i'll be lewis carroll
and make up a word for it

or try on the mask of emily dickonson
and not care that it won't rhyme

they say nothing rhymes with circus.
they're wrong.

they're wrong about everything
and nothing at the same time

they know it all
and they know nothing

who are they,
anyway?

this is going on too long, i still can't find the word

build me up,
push me down

over the edge
my current residence

could you throw me a rope?
it needn't be more than a syllable

understated, overrated
my life
imaginary, full of lies
i've lost track of how many times i've cried

on stilts
six feet under

i'm just glad i'm still breathing

I'm losing my mind, Volume Two

it's just falling
slipping
the time's just
(poof)
gone.
it'll never come back.
i can't try again,
there are no restarts.
one false move and
(zap)
game over.
forever.
they say your life flashes before your eyes as you die.
but if it doesn't?
have you lost even the smallest bit of that moment?
that you might have ever gotten back?
slipping
falling
sliding
pulling
removing
it flies away.
i'm losing my mind, i can't keep up!
where has the time gone?
what happened to summer nights,
gazing at the stars?
what happened to mexican resturants,
and avril lavigne in spanish?
all that's left
are my memories.
and even those
have disappeared.
slipping
falling
sliding
pulling
removed
it's flown
far way
where i'll never reach it
(i'll always be a couple inches short)
i promise i tried
but i've lost my mind.

I'm losing my mind, I promise. - Jessie thinks I said that

Guest Blogger:
I"m letting Jessie post. But she's a lazy-arsche and doesn't have anything to say.
"Hobos USA rocks. Whooo!"
that's about it.
It was my friends's [jessie says: bobo the hobo!] dance.... We went and saw it last night. It was a Jazz... I/We also like the Senior Choreographer's dance... she did the splits mid-air. Pretty aawesome.
annnnd. the seeker sucked. don't watch it. the only coolness was the SAnta Cruz O'Neil Surf Shop jacket and the "can i fly" "what?" "you know -hand gesture- whoosh?"
so... yah.
that's 70's show > world
seriously.

sam koster.
his version of emily is love.
sonny's was great.. but he screamed.
click here to listen to sam's
click here to listen to sonny's

Blaqk Audio

addicted to blaqk audio and afi.
seriously. i spent like three hours on youtube looking up songs and interviews.

Nightwish - Over the hills and far away

i will marry tarja. for serious, my little piglets.

i know.
i haven't been posting.
but i don't have anything to post about, really.
slipknot is deep.
i doubt any of you [my friends] will like them though.
"everything is 3D blasphemy, my eyes are red and gold, the hair is standing straight up, this is not the way i pictured me. i can't control my shakes, how the hell did i get here? something about this so very wrong. i have to laugh out loud, i wish i didnt like this. is it a dream or a memory? i felt the hate rise up in me, kneel down and clear the stone of leaves. i wander out where you cant see, inside my shell i wait and bleed." - slipknot
get any deeper than that and you'll drown.
YOU'RE NOT IT'S REAL MOM!
T.T
-runs away sobbing-
...
ahem.
so yeah. tarja is better than annette. not that annette isn't great... tarja's just better.
night wish + evanescence + seether + flyleaf + slipknot + within temption + three days grace.
they will rule the world.

in awe

i found this 13 year old blogger.
she's beyond amazing.
makes me feel self-conscious about my poems.
i'm not gonna give you her blog, however.
for now, i'll just sit in awe.

don't ask.

and the machine guns fire [rata-tata-tata]
and the bombs detonate [resounding booms echo]
and fruitcakes are baked.
[ding!]


have i ever mentioned i hate poetry? i love it, but when it's for school.. ugh.
feist is actually pretty good. thanxalotamy.

annnd dane cook is cool.
"your move holy man. choose wisely."

ahhaa

just to remind you why i love rhiannon:

• a truely wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

• if i saw you in a dark alley... i'd probably mug you. O.o

• oh wait my mum's downstairs talking... i'll be sneaky so that i don't get forced to say hullo
-puts on ninja outfit and fuzzy leopard print slippers-
damn she saw me.

• liquid eyeliner is spiffy

• i do not tolerate the intolerant

• british people cannot pronounce the letter H. for example: "'ello. 'ow's it going? 'ave you 'ad a good day?"

• oh by the way,
ghu goj hkker brupegh kapa luye bsaynt

• oh what sucked about friday was i didn't get to go downtown with some random people from the dance because mummy thought it was unsafe to roam the streets at night. and then she went and did her errands while i sat on the slide at school for an hour and a half in the dark waiting for her to pick me up. some 16 year olds were drunk-driving [on their bikes] and road them into the playground and one of them hit the swing set and went flying off. then they asked me for a lighter. i told them no hablas ingles and they left. then this pizza truck came into the driveway and the janitor payed the pizza boy and then he ate the pizza. good times. well i'm gonna stop writing this and start sorting through my mountain of CD's. i can't find the one with lamb of god

• deva and me and moon were grinding and the parents grabbed us and were like "no! nothing that makes you look like you'll get pregnant." we're like "umm.. girl + girl = no babies."


she just says these things.
:/


look at his glasses.



i got tokio hotel's US CD today.. :D good times.
i fell in love with the dude from three days grace's voice. i'm like scratchy! O.o looooove.

i have a huuuge crush on lacey. and amy.
they're just so cool.
annnnd i like mary-kate the hippie. except she was the anorexic or something. she's cute. ♡

and to think a poor fraggle sacrificed itself for this photo to be taken...

and speaking of cheez-its... i mean. pineapples. no wait, i mean fraggles... ahh, the love between fraggle rock and i..

I updated a lot so you have to scroll down a bunch to see them all..

i figured out how to have just one blog but a blog and two stories.
at the right are lists of hyperlinks, you click on it and it will bring you to the post that has that chapter in it! :)
so now you don't have to search in the archives.
yay!

stupidity.

arlo: the cure for cancer is AIDS!
daniel: and the cure for AIDS is cancer!
arlo: but if AIDS are the cure for cancer then how is cancer the cure for AIDS?
daniel: they're both the cure.
arlo: but then you're just always cured.
daniel: exactly... :]
arlo: but..then...THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! >.<
daniel: haha.. i would rather have cancer.
arlo: dude, no. AIDS is only bad if you get sick, cause then you die.
daniel: well yah. i mean unless you get sick from cancer.

Stories

I'm thinking of creating 1 - 2 new blogs, with each story on them. It would be easier for everyone, i think. Adrie's Story and Brendon/Gabbie's were updated, they're below...
tell what works best for you. :)

through the mind [i never made it out whole]

listening to - nothing. i've giving jai a break. [jai is my ipod]

this is adrie's story, i know it's a little fuzzy but i still need to revise it.
and it's crucial that you tell me what you think.
otherwise i won't continue.

I sighed, leaning my head back against the solid brick wall. Why are things always like this? I just need somewhere to go. To get away. No, to run away from my problems. Just like my mum did.
I have to clear my head. I can smell the smoke, hear the cried of the innocent people trapped inside the building. This is all my fault. Then again, isn’t everything?
Groaning, I pushed myself from the crouched ball into a upright stance.
“Adrie! What the hell are you doing here?” Raan appeared out of nowhere, pushing me back against the brick wall. I’ve gotten pretty tired of brick walls. When I rebuild this city, I’m getting rid of all the bricks. I’ll just use some cool plastic thing. Maybe then I’ll be –
My thoughts were cut off by Raan’s hand coming to meet my face.
“Get out of here! They’ll know it was you!” He shouted, his face mere centemeters from mine.
“But Raan,” I said with so much patience that it looked out of place in this basement, what with the stories above shining like a beacon, warning people to stay away from the madwoman inside. “Technically, I don’t exsist here,” I continued.
“Exactly! They’ll blame it on the one person who had absolutly no reason for being here!” Damn. He had logic on his side.
That’s another one of my problems. I have absolutley no commen sense or ability to use logic. I just.. do. I’m impulsive. Maybe that’s what started my obsession with fire.. All it took was just one little match.


This really is the time to explain. What’s the point of writing this journal, documentary, diary, whatever you want to call it, if you don’t understand? There are books and movies like that, where you don’t get what’s happening to the end. But this isn’t a book. It’s not a movie either, though my life would be much simpler if it was. This is real.
And this, what you are reading right now, is my journey through my mind. I can’t decide if I ever made it out again.

she's insane...

Sighs

i'm gonna steal my wife's habit...
i am currently listening to kill hannah. lips like morphine. over and over again.

i promised you the next chapter, here it is...
just thought i'd let you all know that this story's going on hiatus, i'm bored of the plot at the moment.
if you all want me to continue, let me know which way you want the story to go... i still about 12 chapters to post, don't worry.. yet.
i just started a new story about a girl named Adrie, i've got.. like three paragraphs. She's a pyromaniac with a troubled past.. she might die in the end. It's depressing, really. I have no idea what's happening to her.
So.. yeah. Chapter Six: [i think. let me know if i posted the wrong chapter.. i can't keep track of it all.]
I was lying on my back on the grass in Pete’s backyard, staring at the clouds. Pete was sitting next to me.
He broke the silence. “What do you think Gabrielle’s going to do?”
I looked at him. “I have absolutely no idea Pete.”
“Well, we’d better plan for everything then… It’ll probably prove Murphy’s Law true…”
“Of course.”
“We’ll have to find out when she plans to act though…” He trailed off, thinking.
“We need to get more information, okay Pete? I need to keep my mind off Gabbie so can we not talk about this now?” It was true. My heart hurt every time I thought of her. I couldn’t kill her. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t. She was too much part of me.


GABBIE:
William was true to his word. Only fifteen minutes after he’d left Audrey showed up. She was about 5’ 10’’, with red hair.
I was sitting at my desk, carefully writing out my plan. I knew I wouldn’t forget what my plan was, but I wanted to make sure I had everything.
Audrey appeared in front of me. “William said you wanted me?”
I looked up at her. “Ah, yes. Did he tell you why?”
“He said I was supposed to help you with your mission, and follow your orders, even if it killed me. I suppose that’s what he really wants isn’t it? Just because I turned him down.” She sounded bitter, and looked at me expectantly.
“Well, Audrey, I wasn’t planning on killing you… Of course, that can be arranged.” I smiled at her, flashing perfect teeth.
“As tempting as that sounds, no thanks.” She smiled back at me, glad that I was being friendly. I noticed her fangs were longer than most vampires.
“All right, here’s my plan.” And I explained it to her.
The plan was this. We were going to focus on them individually. First, I was going after Pete. I’d fought him one-on-one before, so I had a basic idea of his fighting style. After I’d defeated him (we were banking on me winning) I’d either get Audrey to come guard him or bring him to her to guard. Audrey would make sure he didn’t get away, while I went after Brendon. After I’d defeated Brendon, (once again presuming I’d survived) we’d each bring our charge to Headquarters, where we’d present them to William.
“We need to lay a false trail,” Audrey remarked after I’d explained the plan.
“Very true,” I mused, thinking of what sort of false trail I’d lay.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said suddenly. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Thank you Audrey. I will be training if you need me.” I stood up and went to the training room to practice for my fight with Wentz.

Blonde-ness. Yes, b-l-o-n-d-E! rawrlz.

i got a quiz thinger in mah email and thought i'd let you all know how very very blonde i am.

the x's indicate what i do.. the parentheses are my comments.

1.I have walked into a glass/screen door. x
2.I have tripped on my shoelace and fallen. x
3.I have choked on my own spit and thought I WAS gonna die. [though i was gonna die? no.. choke? yess...]
4.I've seen the Matrix a bunch of times and still don't get it. [never seen it. :(]
5.I type only with my pointer fingers.
6.I have 'accidentally' caught something on fire. X
7.I've told a cop to go away. x [ooo smite sierra!]
8.I have attempted to sip out of a straw but missed and it accidentally went up my
nose, rather than my mouth. x
9.I have thought of something funny, and laughed out loud and people looked at me weird. X
10.I've caught myself drooling.
11.I've 'accidentally' caused an explosion. .... x
12.If someone says the word 'fart', I can't help but laugh.
13.I've been into a 'Do Not Enter' door plenty of times. x
14.Sometimes I just...stop thinking & zone out. X
15.It is POSSIBLE to lick your elbow. X [seen my bfffffrawr do it]
16.I just tried to lick my elbow. [i know i can't.. not that i haven't tried.]
17.People sometimes shake their heads and walk away from me. X
18.People often tell me to use my 'inside voice'. x
21.I've jumped off a moving vehicle. x
22.I've eaten a bug for $5 or less. [it was 15...]
24.I re-post chain letters because I'm scared of what they threaten.
25.I've removed my pants when I was with friends. x
26.I've ran around naked when I was with friends. x
27.I've searched all over the place for something, and then realized
its in my hand. X
28.I 'accidentally (sometimes)break' a lot of things. X
29.My friends know not to use big words on me.
30.I put my head to the side when I'm confused. x
31.Sometimes I start telling a story and suddenly forget what I'm
talking about. X [all the time]
32.I've fallen out of my chair before. X
33.When I'm laying in bed, I sometimes stare at the ceiling and try
to find pictures and words in the texture. X

-holds fingers up in mock-gun position- PANTS OFF! ahahaaaa... (amy and ruby knows what i is talking about..)

haha.. i'm gonna post a new chapter tomorrow...
loves!

my posts have been getting shorter and shorter every time..
i need some help you guys.
i'll post all that i have of the story, and then i need you to tell me what happens next, 'cos i sure don't know what happens.
like, comment.

check out my bestestest friend/wife's blog [the wife thing's kinda a long story, we aren't actually married]
http://www.shesahandsomewoman.blogspot.com

and she has this.
i NEED his glasses.
you all should but me a pair of smurfs.

i'm so tired of making enemies.
i don't really care anymore.
not to mention i have no motivation.
-drops out of school-
i don't care it's not legal.
goodnight.

you know, some people say that dandelions are weeds. but i think, who decided tulips were so great?

and


so... the diet-cola cap returns to challenge the master.

- my kung-fu kitty

Panic Is No More

so i can't go to that concert i wanted to.
well, i can.
my bff [jill XD] can't go.
and i'm not going without her.
biiii

Criss Angel Mindfreak - Building Float

you have to watch for like 15 seconds before he starts floating. he's really cool! he can walk through glass and steel, put his arm through people, walk on water...
youtube Criss Angel to find other ones.

Georg Listing

He's a cross between Ronnie Winters and Brent Wilson. Totally radykull. Just like Mrs. Jost ^_^ wink wink nudge nudge wifey. :)

rawr

you rip them from my mouth
before they've even flown
pulled out
you're a fisherman
reeling in your latest catch.
you
twist them
turn them
kill them
until
they're not mine
they're something completely different
now
they're your words
stolen
now they fall
gracefully
from your painted lips
traced on
from some ancient painting
no one
will ever know
that they were mine first
because
beauty never lies.
someone as perfect as you
would never be capable
of something bad.
but beauty is a parody
in the same was i'm an anachronism
i don't belong here
you do.
and they're your words now.
i don't want them.
you can keep them.
i don't have a use for them.

lalala i think i'm harry potter, apparently.

Ippopotamo

no idea what it is.
no idea where i heard it.
it's fun to say.
something about tokio hotel.
ippopotamo.

Encore

no, i don't.
or do i? i didn't know i did. but then again, maybe i just forgot.
perchance, it slipped my mind?

i don't.
or do i?
no wait wait, we've done this before.
but encore, encore....
the crowd wants more?

Ew Food/Maggot Discussion

Ew. [IMing]
honey is a kitty.
me: SON OF A PINATA!!!!

THAT HURRRRT!

J: WHY ARE YOU YELLING

me: gawd honey you really have some sharp claws

J: WHY AM I YELLING?

me: i have absolutley no ideer

J: :) honey. she sounds soooo cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeee. take piks than bring 2 scholllllllllllllllllllo

me: o.o no can do

camera is eklektronik, remember what happened last time you had something eklektronik?

J: shudders yesh, but you can print then off the camera!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: you can't survive on ice cream, it's been proven

J: psh. why not

its got milk.

and its food.

me: X__x

ew. my food is ew

J: OMG! ur ikon!!!!!!!!!

me: mmhmm

is it not beautiful?

J: its very true.

me: ew! i do not want ew food!

J: im eating spagettyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

me: but if i don't eat ew food, i will die. then i'll become ew food for ew maggots.

J: u cant die wifey!

me: that's why i am eating ew food.

J: yay!

me: bleghh

-throws ew food at wall-

DO NOT WANT EW FOOD!

J: we've been over this.

me: ew food is ew. let ew food be food for ew maggots.

J: but if i don't eat ew food, i will die. then i'll become ew food for ew maggots.

J:
u cant die wifey!
A
that's why i am eating ew food.

J:
yay!

NO. what will i do whith out my wifey...

me: make out with ew maggots, what else?

J: any else BUT THAT

*anything

me: be eaten by ew maggots.

the one in the corpse bride was disturbing...

J: shudders

Elsewhere [Somewhere, Everywhere, in The Bottoms of our Hearts]

Messed up,
spun around,
upside down,
out of town, lost.
twisted
in the blender of society.
mixed up, mashed up.
unrecognizable.
whitewashed walls cover up, mask,
our pain
that was spilled out of our hearts, onto the walls.
the shadow
that life doesn't have to be.
graffiti
that expresses us
who we are
deep down.
it's too dark
too different,
too controversial
for them to accept.
for anyone
who wasn't there
who hasn't seen
who has lived
elsewhere.
where
children skip, sing, frolic
rolling in the meadows
the sunflower fields.
where we all sing
of love,
of joy.
it could be like that
if we'd just cooperate.
but
after
humans got a F on their evolutionary report card
in playing with others.

Ich schrei in die nacht fur dich, lass de-umm right, Chapter FIve, Gabbie!

Okay, I thought to myself. How am I going to do this?
“William?” I called out. I was staying at Headquarters for the time being. I was sitting in a chair behind a desk in one of the spare rooms.
“Yes?” He appeared in the doorway. He was so fast. It always amazed me, even after two years.
“I need help.” I didn’t want to do this, but it was either ask for help or die. I defiantly didn’t want to do the latter.
He walked into the room and sat on the edge of the desk in front of me. “What do you need help with, sweetie?”
Okay, hold up. Did he just call me sweetie? He did not just call me sweetie.
I took a deep breath. (Yes, I’m dead, but I can still breathe. I just don’t need to.) “How am I supposed to capture them both?!?!” I was whining but I didn’t care. “Can’t you take it back? Please?”
“I can’t do that. You need this. We need this. Besides, I gave you this mission at a Gathering. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t.” He sat for a moment, thinking. Then he looked back up at me. “You can have Audrey.”
Audrey was another member of The Cult. She was kind of an outcast, because she’d turned William down.
“What?” I asked, confused. “What do you mean, ‘have her’?”
“I mean I’ll order her to do whatever you want. You can use her to help with whatever you need.”
Audrey wasn’t a good seeker or tracker, but she was capable of guarding. She wouldn’t let her charge get away once he was captured. A plan was already forming in my mind.

61st Post

Tokio Hotel
The lead singer is Bill Kaulitz, the guitarist with dreadlocks is his identical twin Tom. I do my research, thank you.
Believe it or not, the lead singer is a guy. For real. They're a German band, formerly know as Devilish. They recently translated some of their songs into English. I would tell you lots more, but I'm supposed to be doing my homework.
:*
This is my favorite song, Rette Mich.

"Seven Minutes In Heaven"

You can't find true love in a dark closet. Maybe you can meet someone, make a connection, but it's not love. Love takes time to grow. It's not a movie, not cliche. Wouldn't it be nice if life was cliche, had background music, everything was predictable, and every time you randomly burst into song and started dancing the people around you would automatically know that words and steps? But it doesn't work that way. Pay attention to the people around you, you may suprised and how little you know.

Chapter The Next ~ Bden's Point Of View

You tell me everything will be all right,
I cross my heart and hope to die,
Maybe I won’t feel a thing,
So give me novacaine

“Erm.. Brendon?” Everyone was staring at me.
“What?” I asked, frustrated. I was irritable because I found out that it was definite that Pete and I were going to have to fight Gabrielle. I didn’t want to kill her, but there was no way I was letting her take me back to those bloodsuckers.
“What are you singing?” Patrick asked. He’d been the one who’d spoken before. He had orange-ish hair and dark brown eyes. He was probably nicest of us, kinder than most people actually, and yet he was still a Slayer.
“I can’t even make up my own lyrics to Green Day anymore?” I demanded.
“God, don’t bite my head off Brendon. I was just asking,” he replied. “What’s the matter with you anyway? You’ve been a bit off all night.”
The other Slayers chimed in with “Yeah”s and “Are you okay?”s.
“I’m fine!” I snapped.
“No, you’re not.” That was Gerard. He was the newest of the Slayers. He was pretty perceptive when it came to how someone was feeling, but it was pretty obvious that I was pissed tonight. He’d joined our ranks after we’d jumped him, mistaking him for a vampire because of his pale skin, red eyes (he wears contacts) and gracefulness.
“I just don’t want kill M&M…” I muttered, using my nickname for Gabrielle. I called her that because of her middle name, Emmy. All the Slayers had called her Emmy, but she dropped it after she turned.
Everyone looked at me sympathetically. They knew I’d taken her betrayal pretty hard.
Pete, being the complete moron that he is, refused to let me wallow in self-pity. “We just won’t kill her then,” he announced.
“What are you going to do then?” Hayley asked. Hayley was the most practical of us. Whenever we got emotional she forced us to look at the facts. “Kidnap her? We can’t let her go, she’ll just try harder. And we can’t keep her contained forever either.”
I stood up and grabbed a spike. Wooden spikes through the heart don’t kill vampires, but it does slow them down. We practice with them, so we can slow the vampire down long enough to kill it. I twirled it in my hands, then threw it across the warehouse that was Patrick’s house and headquarters. It landed right on target, through a lampshade.
Everyone stared at me. None of them were strong enough to throw a heavy spike the 50 feet it was from where I stood to the lampshade. I was pretty strong, strong enough to handle a vampire, that is.
Hayley immediately tried to calm me down. “We’ll figure something out Brendon, don’t worry.”
I glared at her. “How can I not worry? My ex-best friend is trying to kidnap me, and I’m gonna have to kill her!” It seemed hopeless.
Hayley hugged me. I didn’t hug her back. She was very short, so she had to crane her neck to look up at me through her unnaturally orange bangs. “Everything’s going to be all right.”
“Or so you tell me…” I grumbled, unwrapping her arms from around me.
The song I’d been singing earlier reverberated through my head as I went and sat back down to listen to the other Slayers’ plans on other vampires and other things.

You tell me everything will be all right,
I cross my heart and hope to die,
Maybe I won’t feel a thing,
So give me novacaine

I am like, really really bored so I'm gonna blog until my fingers fall off..

I have pretty piktshures of Amy Lee, and I'm mad at Rhiannon because she promised me the Amy, Rhiannon and I could get married to each other but then she and Amy went and got married on the moon without me! How rude!
Amy says that she's misunderstood, she's not some emo moody Goth. "I'm only miserable when I sing." She says that she pours everything into her music, and she's not depressed in real life at all.
I think she rocks.

More Helena

I did my research, found out what the song's about, watched it again, cried.
It's about Gerard's grandma Elena, yeah I know you're thinking "It's his grandma, so what?", but if you watch it, you see how much feeling he puts into it. He says that she was always really important to him, and supportive of his band, while others were not, and he misses her. A lot.
I was feeling cry-ish already, annnnd... I watched it and cried. Then I realized my flying spaghetti monster was missing, threw a fit, and cried some more.
O.o I sound so emo..
ta!

me!

my new word is whatgives.
apparently, pete wentz and i think alike, seeing as we both wrote about the music or the misery. i swear i didn't know that song existed when i wrote that.
eeyore is my supaa dupaa jepha jeta moomoo. ask away if you like, there's no guaranteeing i'll reply. eeyore is emo, don't deny it.
my favorite colour is black, at the moment. tomorrow it'll probably be topaz.
my eyes have silver lining. (i just bought a silver eye crayon)
hello kitty is rad.
pleather and zoot suits will make a comeback, just you wait. i'm going to buy a red pleather bomber jacket and wear it everyday. over a pair of overalls, a grunge hat, a mood shirt and mismatched neon tube socks and ankle boots. (can you tell i've been reading a 'bad fashion' book?)
i prefer briticisms. they're awesoem. that is not a typo.
it bugs me that no one comments. i know you read, so please leave a little recognition.
i'm bored.
it's 10:04 pm.
it's spring break, today's thursday.
now, you ask questions in the comments, i anonymously tell the whole world about me.
ttfn, as tigger would say.

PS - i don't like bambi.

Chapter Three is an UP!

“Just give up now, bloodsucker! Promise it won’t hurt too much.” He bared his teeth at me. It freaked me out how he did that. He was human, after all. It takes a lot to freak a vampire out.
“Never!” I responded. (Vampires are very cliché.) Why did he seem so familiar? It didn’t matter anyways. I just had to get away. I couldn’t kill him, and he knew it. I decided to go on the offensive, to surprise him.
“Wentz, this is your last chance.” I stepped forward, possibly to my own death. I lowered myself in to a cat-like crouch, a position I often took before I pounced. I had a hidden motive though. I was now crouched on a sewage grate. One stomp and I would be free from this dead-end alley he’d trapped me in.
“What are you going to do? Rip my throat out? I thought you were intelligent, Roth.” He hadn’t noticed what I was standing on. Typical. Humans are a lot less perceptive than vampires. “Werewolves rip throats out.”
“Werewolves aren’t real, smartass.” And then I stomped on the grate, shattering the metal bars beneath me. I easily dropped the 20 feet to the ground, and took off down a waste pipe. I knew he couldn’t follow me fast enough. By the time he got to the bottom, I’d be long gone.

I came out of my flashback. I was sitting on the arm of William’s throne. (He does himself well, doesn’t he?) Why was it that Wentz was so familiar even then? I wished I could remember my human life. William said that it had been a minor complication and I’d just been a normal, unassuming human before he’d found me and bitten me. It seemed to me like he was lying. But why would he lie? What was he hiding?
I looked down at him. Even though he was abnormally tall, I was taller from where I sat. He was watching me. I looked into his bottomless black eyes. He was the only vampire, ever, to have black eyes, and one of the few to have double fangs.
“William, are you lying to me?”
“What would I be lying to you about, Roth?” He’d used my last name. What did that mean? I was going to lose sight of my mission if I kept focusing on William.
“About my human life.” I answered him quietly. I still hadn’t broken eye contact.
He carefully took my ice cold hand in his. “I’m not lying to you about anything. Why would I lie?”
Why did he have to have such beautiful eyes? They were so much prettier than my own garnet ones. I could feel all my worries slipping away. “Well, it’s just that Wentz and Urie seem so familiar…”
He smiled reassuringly at me. “You probably knew some people like them when you were alive.”
I couldn’t help but giggle. What was the matter with me?
He smiled too. “What?”
“I don’t know.. It just sounds so weird.. ‘When you were alive..’” I mocked him in a friendly sort of way. For once, he wasn’t ordering me around. He was actually kind of nice when he wasn’t being King. No! Bad thoughts Gabrielle! William’s not nice! He’s evil!
But part of me was thinking he wasn’t so bad after all…

These words slip through the cracks in between my fingers.
Which came first?
The music or the misery?

It's too much work,
being someone you aren't.
You'll never win.

Those who are true to themselves,
will survive.
They'll continue to walk this earth,
when all the fakers have died.
In the apocolypse of lies.

These words slip through the cracks in between my fingers.
The misery came first.

Love For A Vampire - Chap 2 - Brendon's POV

"Hey man!" Pete slid into the passenger seat of the car. "I have news for you."
"Good or bad?" I asked.
"Depends. You like fighting vampires?"
I turned to look at him before starting the car. "Sometimes I really question your sanity, Pete."
He laughed. "Remember Gabrielle?" How could I forget her? She had been my best friend.. before she betrayed us.
-Flashback-
"I'm sorry Brendon... I have to do this." She kissed my cheek before turning to go.
"No." I caught her wrist. "You don't have to! We can protect you!"
She smiled at me sympathetically. "I can't hide forever, Brendon. Best to surrender with some dignity left."
And then she left. To him. To become one of them.
-End Flashback-
That had been two years ago. The Leech (that's what all the Slayers called William) had decided he wanted Gabrielle to join his cult. She was hunted, and she fought them, better than any of the other Slayers. But she gave up. And turned into one of them. "Well, anyways, I heard that The Leech assigned her to capture both of us. Alive. Won't that be fun?" The other Slayers hadn't forgiven her for betraying us. I wondered if she remembered us.
"Uh, sure man. Lots of fun," I said half-heartedly. Thankfully, Pete either didn't notice or didn't care. I was glad. I didn't feel like explaining I was still in love with her. Maybe if I'd told her that she wouldn't have given up. Not that it made a difference anymore. She'd made her choice.
"What do you think she's gonna do though? I mean, if she has to bring us back alive?" I wondered aloud.
"I dunno," Pete replied. "I wonder why The Leech wants us alive.."
"Probably to torture us or something.." I pulled the car out of his driveway and and down the street towards Patrick's house.

Chap 1 - My writing doesn't suck too bad does it?

I suppose I should introduce myself. I really don't want to. I'll tell you the only thing you need to know. I'm a vampire.

"Gabrielle! Are you still with us?" I snapped back to reality. "Of course William. I just got a little sidetracked. What were you saying?"
"I was saying that I have a mission for you."
"Oh? Pray tell." God, William drove me crazy. And not in the in-love-with-you kind of way. He was so high and mighty, like he was King Of The Universe. Although, I suppose he really was. He was the leader of The Cult for a reason. He was the best, and with followers, he could make anything happen. He wanted somebody dead? Done, by the next day. He even could control who won the election for President if he wanted. Did i mention he was a vampire, too?
"Your mission is this; Pete Wentz and Brendon Urie. Alive."
"Are you kidding me?" He had to be joking. The top two Vampire Slayers? No way. Others in The Cult had tried, and failed, to capture them. They were the elite. And I was a relatively new vampire. Only two years, but I was still better than others. I was the youngest in The Cult. You might be thinking that The Cult includes all vampires, but it doesn't. It's William's favorites, hand chosen and trained by him.
"I do not 'kid' people, Gabbie." I hated that nickname. I wanted to explode at him, make him respect me. But I couldn't. He would kill me then and there, and not look back once.
"So, let's get this straight. I, the youngest in The Cult, have to capture the top two vampire slayers, and bring them back here, alive?" I asked.
"That is correct." He responded. Others in the circle shifted. They knew I was temperamental. I had forgotten that we were at a Gathering. I sighed. I'd fought Urie before, and I knew his blood sang for me. It was going to be very difficult, fro two reasons. 1) As I've already explained, they were the best and 2) I wasn't sure if I was going to be strong enough to resist Urie's blood. "I suppose I have no choice, " I said sullenly.
"Of course you don't." William smiled, revealing his double fangs. "Meeting adjourned."

Well, here goes nothing. I thought.





*Note - this is roughly based on a fob music video, roughly being the key word! pete isn't a vampire.. yet xD... the music video is "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More 'Touch Me'"*

Latest Obbsession

My Chemical Romance. 

Helena

Just a Thought

If less equals more, more equals less.

duh.

Her

there she stands

not one original thing about her

perfect lips, 

coated with 'kick-ass' red lipstick.

her hair

many different colours.

in the latest fashionable cut.

you can't help but love her.

what's not to love?

she's a walking advertisment.

the only thing is;

she's not real.

just prototype of what every girl want to look like.

there's not one original thing about her.

you find every inch of her will go back to a trend, a celebrity, a wish.

those who 

do not see themselves

can see her quite clearly.

those who see right through her, her lies, her fakes,

know who they are.

or they know that no matter what happens they are finding themselves.

who is she?

she is...

Lies

you say
those things
without a second thought
as if
they don't hurt
you
and those
to whom
you speak.
i act
like i don't care.
what does a lush or hollister or prep's words mean to me anyway?
but you can't see
what inside.
inside;
i'm breaking
falling
splitting
shattering
into a million little pieces.
like a mirror.
a mirror of my lies.
the lies i told
so
i could
seem sane.
but that mirror?
it's shattered.
the pieces cut me.
but the wounds
are healing.
i no longer act as if they don't hurt.
our souls are everlasting, yet fragile.
next time you say something, think twice.
your words may hurt in ways you'll never know.

Howl's Moving Castle

One of my fave movies so I found it on youtube.. there's a little bit of an overlap but still better than trying to find each next segment everytime..

Hope it works!
Damian Lee

New Band

iTunes finally picked a good single of the week. It's 'Check Yes Juliet' by We The Kings. I really like them & while I was trying to find out who they were, I found this. 

"My crown sucks.." These guys are funny & they're going on tour with Boys Like Girls! -hops up and moshes around room before returning to blog-
Hayley WIlliams from Paramore (they're awesoem too, check them out if you don't know who they are) is on the cover for the Warped Tour 2008. I wish I could go.. sadly, I only have $13 and I'm saving that to buy Eclipse...

Tombstone Generator

Found it on the Mason - Dixon website.

Tombstone Generator

why..

i *had* something to post about but i forgot... hmmm.. i should be doing my communications thing but i don't think i will.. my head hurts.. like, a lot.. yah bye

Panic! Vs. Panic

never thought i'd say this.. but the name looks a little lonely without its '!'... i kinda miss it...

this game is scary fun... it's addicting

ok ppls

there is a difference between sleeping and dieing...
i was feeling crappyyyy... cried for like 3 hours.. but im like wayyy betttttter now...
and im gonna marry petey.. sorry jessie u cant have him anymore...

haii....

im scared

i just want it to stop...
i wish i had sleeping pills so i wouldn't have to deal.
that's all i do.
run away and make excuses.

anonymous

serious eyeliner?
never really thought about it.
not really that serious.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

This has *got* too be one of the sweetest songs out there, along with Hero/Heroine.

Your Guardian Angel

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus Your Guardian Angel Lyrics

are you?

are you willing to accept the truth whatever it takes?

i love her tattoo.

it's written in sharpie on the inside of my wrist right now.

it "speaks" to me.

I was feeling a tad poetic

good things *can* come of G2BMe's! i was sitting there spacing out so i was doodling... and this is what happened next.

"Lies"

we lie, we pose

we act like we don't care

as if it doesn't hurt us

we act invincible

as if we stand on top of the world

but we can feel the ground underneath our feet sinking in

we hide

we don't show who we are for fear of rejection

we say yes

when what we really mean is no

meanings are deeper than words

what we say is not necessarily what we feel

no one knows who we really are

we aren't even sure it ourselves

when you look in the mirror

do you see you?

or who you pretend to be?

we twist words to our liking

we fake it so they wont know



i like it. it's a poem i'll share for once.

Brendon; Single, Lonely Unlovable?

This made me laugh so hard!
"-Ahem- I'm happily married."

In which I rant about society

Well? Did you miss the 3rd wave of feminism or something? Why does everyone seem to take gay as bad? I personally am not gay but would have no problem telling the world I was is I was gay... Does that make sense? Society seems to have numbed us to our abilities to open our minds. Do you guys ever feel as if it's like Finger 11's new album? Them vs. You vs. Me? I feel so much like that! It's them (them being the masses) vs. you (you.) vs. me (me being *me*)..... Oh and for those of you who don't know what the 3rd wave of feminism was... too bad. I suggest Vickie Howell's CRL podcast with Debbie Stoller, author of the Stitch 'N Bitch series. I think it's perfectly horrible the way we consider gays to be bad... I'm pretty damn pissed right now. My friend logged off of IM after I said 'I ♥ Madita.' Her response was... (to quote) 'eww you love a girl sick' and then she logged off. no goodbye. how messed up is that?
No matter. Yes, it hurt my feelings that my friend's response was that, but I moved on. We can't live in the past.
Life's a rose garden.
(yes i mean a rose garden.)
We have to deal with the thorns to enjoy the beauty of the flowers.

i can take a hint

gack = { squidmen are attacking

dudes can u tell im bored? i actually made a scroller...

- AFI Lyrics
lalalala BORED!

:(

gahhhhhhhh why do i even post?

Current Status - Deep Thoughts

My kitty died last night. I'm gonna miss him so much... He was so cute. He was only 2 in human years, but his soul felt way older. He was like a mom to his brother Bugsy.
He was sick yesterday. He had the "kitty flu". No big deal right? It got worse the entire day.... My dad took care of him... and he died that night. Later though, after I had fallen asleep.
When all I knew was that he was sick, I was worried he was gonna die. I was reading The Bible (which is not a normal habit for me) and I was listening to my iPod. At the time I was reading that you should put your faith in The Lord, and he will save you, I was listening to Flyleaf. It was "All Around Me" at the time where she says "I believe you, I believe."
So that's what I did. Everyone says to hand it over to God. I did. And I cried for about an hour. But I felt better knowing it was being taken care of.
So when my mom woke me up at 7 in the morning and said "Asher passed on." I realized that that was the way it was meant to be. It was Asher's time to go. So I feel way less devastated than I would have.
God bless you Asher. We love you.
Did I mention that Fergie's New Years Resolution was to be "[L]ess Fergalicious"
Weeeeeeeee-red.

Current Status - Worried

My kitty is sick! Mum says that he has the kitty flu.. but I'm not sure. He won't move, he doesn't drink, he won't eat and he won't sleep! Asher is scaring me. I want to take him to the vet, but Mum says that he's okay.
I had planned to have a happy "happy new years" post but oh well. I stayed out skiing until 11:30, and now I'm sore.
My New Years Resolution - Sorry, but last year my resolution was not to make a resolution this year. LOL
I found this in an old RD:
"All Over The Map"
The Washington Post asked its readers to combine two countries into one great nation. Here's what they came up with.
Spain + Italy = Spitaly, where the first three rows of the National Opera come with complimentary ponchos.
Oman + Bolivia = Oblivia, the land that time - and everyone - forgot.
Tuvalu + Sudan = Tudalu, where people leave as soon as they can.
Fiji + Haiti = Fijiti, with the highest per capita caffeine consumption
Botswana + Kuwait = Botwait, the corporate headquaters of Ginsu International and Ronco Worldwide.
I thought it was really funny, but that's just me.
Tudalu!